Lessons Learned Through Loss

I had to bury one of my very best friends this week. Rodney Dale Waters passed away on January 31, 2009 at the tender age of 43. Rodney and I have been friends since 1985. I can't look back and remember a time he wasnt there for me with a big hug, a big smile and always making me laugh even during the worst of times. When my mom had her heart attack, he was my only friend that went to the hospital to visit her. Even when I wasnt there, he went to see her. I feel such a profound sense of loss. I know God has his reasons for everything, and I know I'm supposed to learn something from this, I just wish I knew more about what that was. His funeral was amazing. Well, as amazing as funerals can be. But he was an HFD fireman and the fire department has all of their pomp and circumstance and he was also a Mason so they did all of their rituals as well and it was simply amazing. To be part of such a brotherhood of the Masons and the fire department is just incredible.

In looking back over the past week's events, I have actually learned the following:

1. Take lots of pictures. I throughly regret that after almost 20 yrs of friendship with Rodney, I actually have only 4 pictures of him. I am going to make a conscience effort from now on to take pictures of my family and friends.

2. Mend broken fences. Friends are going to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect, but everyone deserves a second chance. There were friends of ours at the funeral that had not made their peace with Rodney and now are simply devastated. I am so thankful that Rodney and I sat down almost a year ago and worked through any and all issues we had and were back to being the best friends that we had been for so many years. I wish our other friend Allen peace in the knowledge that although he did not mend his fences with Rodney before he left this earth, that all is forgiven now. I hope Allen is able to move on and learn from this as well.

3. You find out who your friends are. You see the ones that are there for you and the ones that are so wrapped up in their own lives they dont have room for anyone else. Its sad really.

I know there were other lessons learned that I will remember, but for now, those are the most important. I feel so truly blessed to have had him in my life. His last words to me were "LMAO............thats my Cat." I will never forget that. I just wish I had had more time with him, but then dont we all say that when we lose a loved one? Take time to cherish your family and your friends. Make yourself spend the time with them like you should so that you dont have the regrets. Live life to the fullest. You never know when your number will be called.

I know Rodney is up there looking over me now, along with my other friends that were called away too soon..............Patricia Broadus, my friend that passed away from a car accident right before our high school years, Allen Schlein that passed due to a rare brain tumor at the young age of 28 back in 1989, Allen Coe that passed from a tragic car accident 5 years ago, and my second mom, Cheryl Tomaski, that lost her struggle with cancer 2 years ago. I took something special away from each of these friends and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of them. I miss them all very much.

I can only hope that I have made some sort of impact on my friends lives as my friends have made on me. Do you ever wonder how many people would attend your funeral if you died? or how many would remember you like you remember them? I have. Sometimes its not very pretty.

Each day it will get easier. Right?????