Thursday, July 12, 2007

Stop the world, I wanna get off!!!

Ever feel like you've pissed off all the Gods at one time? I guess if I'm gonna do it, I may as well do it right, right?? So, once you've successfully pissed them off, how exactly do you make them happy again?

It all started going south yesterday when I finally gave in and let my grumpy old man (a/k/a my 15 yr old cat, Bear) be taken to the vet. He has been sick, and I've known this, but I always hate taking him in cause they always give me bad news. But I decided to do what was right for a change and we made an appt for him, Momma T's grumpy old man, Tommy, and my black lab Tawne. Poor Tawne has always had issues. She pees when she sleeps so that definitely needed to be taken care of. I knew it was going to be somewhat expensive and was not looking forward to that. But, I was blown away when I found out the total! OMG! It was more than I pay for my own office visits for pete's sake! I had obviously angered the pet Gods somehow!

As I am on the phone getting financially raped by the vet, I get an email from one of my bosses saying, I need to talk to you after five. Beautiful! You just gotta love getting that message. Of course I promptly respond back and say, um, ok, but if your going to fire me, do it now cause I aint staying late to get fired!!! And all I wanted to do was go home. I was exhausted. I had only slept a couple of hours the night before and I really reallly wanted to just go home and crawl into bed. But NOOOO!!!! Guess the Sleep God was angered! I promptly walk over to the boss's office at 5p only to find the big boss siting in there chatting away. I got to wait til almost 5:45p to talk. Time God evidently pissed! Of course she promptly tells me news that makes me oh so not happy. Of course I can't repeat it here yet cause its not public knowledge yet and not 100% confirmed. All I know is it will not be happiness. Obviously angered the Work God.

Finally I am on the way home and decided to crank up the music and just jam. I was rocking and rolling and just a swinging to the music. You should have seen the looks I was getting. And you know what, I didnt' even care. I was jamming to the song Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry. If you haven't heard it, OMG, its hillarious. There is no way you can sit still while listening to it. Definitely my theme song. I guarantee you there are several people that think I'm definitely a Crazy Bitch!! I make it home where I get asked a question befitting the whole day. Do you want a margarita, Momma asks!!! Well hell yeah I reply. Thank God she understands me. Off to my favorite mexican food joint for my favorite amaretto margarita. Man are they stout! Fantastic. Starting to feel better. I make it home to crawl into bed, but of course, I have to stop and check email first. Stupid me. Nothing like drunking emailing. Never seems to work out well. That must be the email Gods now.

This morning I get up thinking surely today will be better right? Its a fresh new day. A brand new start. WRONG! It was cute that I thought that though huh??? Along comes the angry Traffic God. During my lovely hour drive to work, I got into three, count them, three, altercations. And seriously, only one was my fault. Michelle as my witness. She was on the phone with me the entire drive in listening to me explain all the beautiful things that transpired the day before. My pet peeve, slow drivers in the fast lane. AAARRGGHHH! I got behind this guy that was just putting along in the fast lane, the cars in front of him miles ahead. So, I put my blinker on and got in the middle lane and started to go around. Well, that obviously made him mad so he started to speed up. But, Chevy Tahoe versus POS. Which do you thnk won? hehehe I was approaching a dump truck so I popped over in front of the guy. Now he was mad. He finally came up next to me again, and just glared at me. I laughed and promptly started smiling and waiving and telling him that I hoped he had a great day. Michelle is laughing now telling me I've lost my mind. This guy must have driven past me and glared at least three times. and all three times, I smiled and waved and wished him a nice day which seemed to make him glare harder. So now I decide okay, time to move from the fast lane into the middle lane. I put my little blinker on, and move on over. I'm minding my own business, ranting away on the phone, when this lovely little hispanic guy decides he wants my lane, and he wants it NOW. Nevermind the fact that um, I'm using it!!! He almost side swiped me. Full side impact. So, I honk cause surely he didn't mean to come over right? He promptely starts cussing me and telling me to get off the phone. I'm sorry, but what did me being on the phone have to do with him being a dumbass? Maybe he has a phone phobia. Really not sure. So of course I start cussing back and he pulls in behind me and tries to see if his little car would fit up my tahoe's ass. So hey, being the accomodating person that I am, I proceed to stop quickly to help him find out. I mean really, he obviously needs this information for some reason right? Of course, Michelle is getting a play by play of the action and thinking great, I get to hear a murder. Well, at least she could say that I didn't start it. I had my witness dangit! I might be dead, but dammit I was right. Make sure that's on my tomb stone okay? :-)

He finally goes away. I am pulling into my building area and think, OMG, its almost over, I'm almost to the parking garage. I turn onto the street in front of my building and coming straight at me, in my lane, is yet another car. Oh for pete's sake. I just stopped in the middle of the road and started laughing. Surely this could not be happening right? Finally the genius realizes, oh, hey, I'm on the wrong side of the road!!! Dee ta dee! ya think? Good lord.

Finally Im safe and sound and work. Of course with all the info I got the night before, work is just giong so well. So lunch comes around and the other secretary says, lets get out of here. So I of course say, okay, but YOU drive. She decides she wants Whataburger so off we go. Whatever. at this point I dont care. We get in her car, and her a/c doesn't work. Great. Off to a good start. We proceed to the nearest whataburger and turn down this road that ends up being a dead end. Beautiful. We turn around to get to another road, and guess what.......a Train!!! woo hoo! Welcome to my day. I just had to laugh.

Finally it gets to be the end of the day and dang it, I'm going home. I get in my truck and think hopefully it will start! Oh, did I mention that my truck was not running right this morning either??? I really thought it was giong to die sitting in traffic. Now that would be fun huh? Anyway. I left work at 6:15p and though well, at least traffic will be gone. WRONG again! go figure. Dam Traffic God must really be pissed. Almost an hour and a half later, i finally make it home. So here I sit, already in my jammies, curled up in my bed and about to pull the covers up over my head.

There are so many other little things that went wrong the last couple of days that I just have to sit here and laugh. Its so sad its comical. Of course, maybe I'm laughing cause I've finally lost it. Oh well. Its funny anyway.

So heres to tomorrow being a better day. Maybe some of the Gods have gone fishing and will be in a better mood. If nothing else, you just have to laugh and say okay, NEXT!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well you need to have a chat with the Pussy God's (that is pussycat to you perves)

Oh the fire alarm Gods are mad too..

gotta stop...

Cas said...

There's no stopping and no getting off. Trust me.