Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A Brutal Dose of Harsh Reality


Have you ever had to watch someone or something you love more than anything else, pass away in front of your eyes? Well, that is how I spent last night.

My little girl. The one constant in my life. The one being in this world that loved me for who I was and never asked a thing of me. Never expected anything. Never judged me. Always forgave me if I made a mistake because she knew I wasn't perfect. Was always happy to see me and was always there when I needed her. To kiss my face, lick my hand, or just lay beside me when she knew I needed it. Even in death she was by my side. She never left me. Until now, when she left me for good and took a piece of my heart with her. She was the one and only one that never broke her word to me and stood by me no matter what. People will tell you that all day long, but most of the time, they really don't mean it. They cast you aside like you ment nothing and never look back.

And now she's gone. I watched her slowly take her last breath with my hand on her side. Watched the life drain from her eyes. In the blink of an eye, she was ripped from my grasp. She's in a better place now. She's happy and free and playing in greener pastures. And I know all of this but the selfish side of me wants her here. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready to let her go. She took that piece of my heart that will forever be empty now. I miss her face. I miss her bark. It has truly ripped the heart right out of my chest. My house seems so empty now. She was my companion. My friend. My confidant. And the one person I thought I can lean on in these times, I can't now. And that breaks my heart.

I am sorry this is such a downer, but I'm bent and broken and I really am not sure when I will recover. Too many losses in my life. you can only take so much you know?


2 comments:

Andie said...

I am so sorry. I know how much Keisha meant to you and how much you loved her. It is just as hard to lose a pet as it is to lose a family member. They are a part of our family, our lives. Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do. Love you!

Cas said...

I'm sorry Cat. There aren't any words that can help, I know. But I'm really sorry.